attila head
Repeal Gravity

Repeal the Unfair Law of Gravity

Is gravity getting you down? Do you feel forced to stay low by a power from below?

Well get your spirits up and reach for the stars, because team Attila is on the forefront of the fight against the forces of nature!

On the edges of cliffs, on the summits of mountains, through the windows of airplanes and skyscrapers, gravity claims thousands of innocent lives a year. And no other politician will do anything about it.

Here's where the candidates stand on the law of gravity:

  • Nader: Off the Table (watch the broken glass).
  • Clinton: She doesn't recall (but it's probably off the table).
  • McCain: Off the Table (gravity needs to be "resold" to Americans).
  • Obama: Off the table (though his pastor may differ).
  • Brown: Only when economic conditions allow it.
  • Sarkozy: "The fatter you get, the more you weigh."
  • Bush: replace it with latteral gravity.
  • Team Attila: Repeal Gravity!

We are the only party who will:

  • Stop promoting the harmful law of gravity in schools and state sponsored universities.
  • Repeal all laws related to gravity in controlled states, provinces and territories.
  • Give free anti-gravity boots to brummie rockclimbing widows and create an anti-gravity refuge in mid-central Ohio.
  • Create a constitutional amendment and sign an international treaty declaring gravity to be bad, backward and depraved.
  • Create more humane alternatives to gravity.
  • Abolish the fear of heights and all other forms of vertigo.

They say it's hard to keep a good man down, but the terrorizing laws of gravity do just that.

We can't leave this issue up in the air. Vote for Attila and we'll bring down the laws of gravity.

And for those of you attached to gravity, you're going down big time.

Don't let The Law of Gravity get you down, vote Attila for Emperor.

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